They're holding your stuff. Here's how to get it back.

NY CONVERSION · DEMAND AND REFUSAL

Your property is still yours, wherever it sits.

Moving out of an apartment, or being locked out of one, does not transfer ownership of what you left behind. The clothes, electronics, furniture, documents, and pets (yes, the law treats them as property, though the analysis is evolving) that you own remain yours. The person holding them has, at most, a temporary and conditional possession that ends the moment you ask for your things back.

New York recognizes two related claims here. The first is conversion: the unauthorized exercise of control over someone else's property in a way that interferes with the owner's rights. The second is an action to recover the specific property itself, historically called replevin, which asks the court to order the item returned rather than paid for. You can pursue both, and a demand letter sets up both.

Demand and refusal: the step that changes everything.

When someone came into possession of your property lawfully (you left it in the shared apartment; you lent them your camera; the landlord found it after you moved out), their possession does not become wrongful on its own. New York law generally requires that the owner demand the property and that the holder refuse to return it. That demand and refusal is what converts an awkward situation into a legal claim.

A refusal does not have to be the word “no.” Ignoring a clear demand for a reasonable period, setting impossible conditions (“you can have it back when you pay me $2,000”), or claiming the items are gone without explanation all function as refusals. This is why the form of your demand matters: it should be written, specific, dated, and delivered in a way you can prove. A text saying “can I get my stuff” that goes unanswered is a weak demand. A letter listing each item, stating a date and method for return, and noting that refusal will be treated as conversion is a strong one.

Itemize before you demand.

The single most common mistake is demanding “my things” instead of a list. Before any demand, build an inventory:

• Each item, described specifically (not “laptop” but “MacBook Air, silver, 13-inch, 2022, in a gray case”).
• Approximate value, with the basis: purchase receipts, order confirmations, bank statements, or a reasonable replacement cost.
• Proof of ownership where you have it: receipts, photos of you with the item, serial numbers, warranty registrations, insurance schedules.
• Where the item was last seen and when.
• Sentimental or irreplaceable items flagged separately, because a court can order their return rather than payment.

The list does two things. It makes the demand impossible to misunderstand, and it fixes the claim's value for a court. New York's small claims courts handle property disputes up to $10,000 in New York City and lower limits elsewhere, and a clean itemized list with values is exactly what a judge wants to see.

Specific situations.

• Ex-partner. The most common version. Note that jointly purchased items during a relationship (the couch you both paid for) are a different problem from items you owned before or bought alone; be clear in your list about which is which. If the ex is also holding money or a loan is involved, see lent money and not paid back. If the item is an engagement ring, New York has a statute on point: engagement ring return in New York.
• Former roommate. Items left in a shared apartment after you moved out, or items the roommate took with them. Often tangled up with a rent or utilities dispute, which we cover at a roommate owes you rent or utilities.
• Landlord after a move-out or lockout. A landlord who changes the locks or clears an apartment does not acquire your belongings. Self-help lockouts of lawful occupants are unlawful in New York and carry their own consequences, and a landlord holding your property after a demand is exposed to a conversion claim like anyone else. If you were locked out while still a lawful tenant, that is an urgent housing matter and you should seek immediate help beyond a demand letter.
• Friend or family member you lent something to. A loan of property is a bailment; when the lender demands it back and the borrower refuses, conversion follows.

Deadlines.

New York's limitations period for conversion is three years, generally measured from the conversion itself, which for property that was lawfully held at first is often the refusal following your demand. Do not let the situation drift. Beyond the legal deadline, items get sold, given away, or damaged, and a claim for value is a poor substitute for the thing itself.

What a demand letter does here.

In property disputes, the demand letter is not just a negotiating tool; it is a legal element of the claim. Our property return letters are drafted to satisfy the demand requirement cleanly: they attach the itemized inventory, state the basis for your ownership, specify a date and a reasonable method for return (a supervised pickup, a shipment at your expense, or delivery to a neutral location), and state that failure to return the items by the deadline will be treated as a refusal and as conversion. The letter also puts the holder on notice that disposing of the property after the demand carries consequences.

Most people holding an ex's belongings are not trying to steal them. They are angry, avoidant, or using the items as leverage in some other fight. A formal letter that makes the legal exposure explicit, and that offers a simple logistical path to return, often produces a pickup date within days. When it does not, the letter and the documented refusal become the foundation of the court case. See how our flat-fee demand letters work.

When a letter is not enough, and when it is too much.

If the holder has already sold or destroyed the items, the claim becomes one for value, and a letter is still the right first step toward that. If the holder is dangerous, or if there is a history of abuse, do not handle this through direct demand at all; family court and criminal processes provide protective tools, and a lawyer should be involved in a different capacity. If the items are worth less than the cost of pursuing them, one clear written demand you send yourself, with a list and a date, may be the proportionate move.

If a letter is refused or ignored, small claims court can award the value of the property, and other courts can order its return. Our New York small claims court guide covers the filing, and demand letter vs. small claims helps you decide whether to send the letter first.